was not the prettiest bartender at the Coyote Ugly Saloon. In my opinion, that would have been Caroline. I was partial to Caroline, though, because she had been so nice to me when I began working here. She was very pretty and also very funny. When I asked Caroline how she’d gotten her first bartender job, she cupped her breasts and said simply, “These.” (On first glance, however, Caroline’s breasts didn’t seem exceptional, and I said as much. She unzipped her bulky sweatshirt and showed them to me. Then I said, “Oh.”)
Still, some regulars would have insisted that the prettiest bartender at the Coyote Ugly Saloon was Chris, who had sassy short hair like a boy’s and a heart-stopping midriff. Of course, there was also Jackie to consider. Jackie was very pretty. Jackie was also famous for tossing shots of rum into her mouth, holding a lighter to her lips and blowing ten-foot bursts of flame across the room. There was definitely a cult of Jackie. Molly was pretty in a way that attracted the downtown crowd, and Dawn was pretty in the way that bikers like. And as for Jessie? Jessie was practically an objet d’art. Jessie was so goddamn pretty that it barely counted. One of the many regulars who fell in love with Jessie dated her a few times. She broke it off quickly. But he would still come into the Coyote Ugly Saloon every night, just to talk about her…